i’ll show you

i love images.

more than conversations, often. though you might be fooled by my love of language. i love language as i love music. and i like making music with people. and for people. and i like looking at them. and making pictures of them. and i’ve done this for years. in many ways. i’ve been to school for camera and for video camera and for film camera. i’ve spent a good amount of time and money on this pursuit. for no other reason than that i am good at it and i love being good at it and i love what it brings me. what it brings me cannot be put into words. which makes perfect sense.

i don’t always know the best way to interact with people or businesses. i find my thinking and manners are sometimes at odds with accepted social norms. or maybe i haven’t taken enough time to learn them. or maybe it has to do with my own life and background. i don’t know. but i can spend ten minutes with a person and sometimes mess the whole thing up. and i can spend three days with a handful of images, and think i’m in heaven.

when i was in art school, i met with a couple who wanted to hire me for a wedding video. and i showed them a video reel that featured a piece, an “artsy piece” i guess, that had masks and shadow and light and blood and hands reaching through fog and a grown person, embryonic and naked and twisting about in the water. this couple watched it, and thought i was weird and crazy and insulted me for putting them through it. what you have to understand is that i don’t do those things to shock anyone. i’m the one shocked. and hurt. i’m the one always realizing that i have a love affair with my art that doesn’t always include the people around me. and that i don’t understand the contracts that seem to have been made without my awareness, and with my named signed to them in absentia.

but i tire of trying to speak a language that cannot express my dearest visions.